someone get that fucking seahorse.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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