Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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