she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
