would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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