eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
