GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
