dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
