Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
