Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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