she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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