It's like God shit irony all over that family
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize