Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
honey bunches of taint.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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