I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
