Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize