matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This can only be settled by a dance off.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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