I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
