I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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