He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I had to cum in my sink.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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