WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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