i think my mom watched the whole time
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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