How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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