3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Did I show you my penis last night?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize