You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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