Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
