I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
