I want to stick my p in your. b.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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