Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
