She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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