i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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