We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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