White coat. Heels.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
How naked do you want me to be?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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