He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
