May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
