i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
