I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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