why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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