I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
