Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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