Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize