Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
