Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We left the knife in your bed.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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