so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He shit in the fireplace
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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