Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
