An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
