a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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