Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
