Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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