i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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