I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
