Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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