Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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