me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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