guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
