You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize