question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
A bitchslap is in order.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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