yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize