so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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