what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
