there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
