my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
