hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
