the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
