We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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